Legacy Man

Legacy Man

by Mauriat Miranda
(with apologies to Billy Joel)

It’s nine o’clock on a Wednesday
The regular files are looking neat
There’s an old dev sitting next to me
Trackin’ bugs in his Excel spreadsheet

He says, “Son, can you debug this memory
I’m not really sure how it works
But it’s bad and discrete and I knew it complete
When I wrote a younger man’s code.”

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Write us a hack, you’re the legacy man
Write us a hack tonight
Well, we’re not in the mood for an upgrade
And you’ve got it compiling all right

Now John in support is a friend of mine
He helps me debug in C
And he’s quick with a fix or promoting Linux
But there’s some apps that he’d rather see

He says, “Bill, I believe this is boring me.”
As his mouse clicks away through his trace
“Well I’m sure that I could sell iPhone apps
If I could get out of this place”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Santosh is a database analyst
Who never has time for his wife
And he’s talkin’ with Louie, who codes like a newbie
And probably will do for life

And the IT are enforcing policies
As the senior devs slowly check nodes
Yes, they’re using an app they call hopelessness
But it’s better than writing new code

Write us a hack, you’re the legacy man
Write us a hack tonight
Well, we’re not in the mood for an upgrade
And you’ve got it compiling all right

It’s a pretty big patch for a testing day
And the managers change the release
‘Cause they know that today, there is nothing I’d say
To cause their process to cease

And the desktop, it looks like a Commodore
And the Microsoft disks are near
And they run all their builds and think bugs are all killed
And say, “Man, how is this workin’ here?”

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Write us a hack, you’re the legacy man
Write us a hack tonight
Well, we’re not in the mood for an upgrade
And you’ve got it compiling all right